Y'all know I'm a whiny person. I complain a lot and being cynical most of the time. This ain't wrong. It's my coping mechanism ya know. For me, it's not me being negative. I'm just telling the truth. By acting this way, I can survive life a little bit easier. 

But I'm not always whiny, you see? Every once in a while, during weird times, I can talk in a less negative way. I can be cheerful and positive. Today is one of those rare days. 

Today I supposed to have a date. I made a promise to come over someone's house. We both agreed. But of course, as expected, I ended up go home feeling sad due to the last minute cancellation. "Sorry I have a recording session tonight," he said. 

But I know he's working on his new album right now. And I know how passionate he is when it comes to music and work. I think he's really on the mood to work he can't afford any kind of distraction (even when the distraction is hella cute, lol). I understand this because sometimes I get struck by some kind of revelation and all I want is just work on it. And I think about the other reasons of why he had to cancel. Like he's not in a very good situation right now, or all of the problems that comes along with the pandemic, etc. 

So I understand. Really. I am disappointed, but I'm not angry. 

Of course I feel a little bit pissed. That's why on my way home, I visited a local supermarket to window shopping. I try to have more financial responsibility but hey, window shopping ain't hurt anyone. 

So I did. Wandering around the supermarket picking up some cheap goodies that won't make me regret buying. After that, I spent the rest of the night hanging out with my friends in a coffee shop, casually chatting around things. And that's when I realize that my day went actually very well.

The Wine Making

Earlier today, me and Mia attempted to brew our own homemade wine using rice, sugar and ... sorry, the rest of the recipe is confidential. :D 

Why, tho? Because we love to drink, we miss getting drunk, but miras has becoming more and more expensive these days so we decided to make our own. 

This is our first attempt. I don't know what to expect, but I'm excited. This give me some kind of life purpose. Lol. If I felt like 'nothing on the outside, nothing on the inside' before, now I feel a little something. Just a little, but still something. 

The Photo-shoot

After that, I go to downtown Bandung cause I had a photo-shoot. It was for my friend's new clothing line. I'm not a professional model by any means, but helping a friend feels so good to me. On top of that, I had a chance to meet my other friend who also model for the line and we spent a good amount of time chatting. Mostly about kegabutan selama pandemi and how we realize that we watched too much movies during quarantine, and that how excited we are about the upcoming offline gigs that we miss badly and about the future even when none of us know what to expect. It was a good time and a pretty nice convo we had.

I haven't receive the photos yet, but here a selfie with me wearing one of the t-shirt.  Looking cool as always. No matter how pandemic, fuckbois, and life in general try to mess me up, I'm still look cool as fuck. Nope, I'm incapable to be any less cool than this, sorry. Ye, you can push me off the cliff anytime now. Lol. 

Great Friends

So, these are my friends. Not in full formation since one of us went camping with her friends, but these are the people that I live with and since we're still on quarantine right now, we spend basically 24 hours a day together. Hehehe. 

I used to be a loner with no real friends at all. Who I considered as friends were usually people I know in social media and that was all. But now I have people that I can talk to and be there to support me anytime I need them. To every boys I met, I always tell about how grateful I am to have them not just as friends, but also family. 

A New Pair of Shoes

All of my friends know my obsession towards shoes. I love shoes. I even judge people by their shoes. And that's why, when my friend give me a new pair of shoes, I feel like it's the purest form of love. Hahahahaha. 

Anyway, don't give me flowers on Valentine's day. Give me shoes. But if you don't have time to buy shoes for me, fresh money will do. Thank's!

Shopping Therapy

As I mentioned earlier, I went window shopping to cheer myself up. But I picked up some things too. I keep telling myself not to waste my money so I didn't. Clearly I don't have that much time of money to waste so I just picked what I really need. 

Like this new bra. 

I desperately need a new bra and after a very very very looooong session of looking and guessing, and measuring, I finally found one that fits me. Do you even have any idea on how hard it is for me to find a perfect bra? I am pretty thin I can say but I have big boobies. Finding a well fitted bra always been a challenge to me. Even when I go to a fancier underwear store, there's no guarantee that I will find a perfect bra for me. The struggle is real, yo! Even the shop assistants usually get stressed helping me find the perfect one. Lol. 

So, when I finally find a bra that actually fits and in a good price (read: cheap), I have nothing to complain about. 

Umm, not really. I have to complain to the lack of size range and why all of those bras have too much padding on them? Like I don't need padding, I have more than enough so can anyone fix this? Wider cup size range, please!

Nail Polishes

I love nail polishes. I have my nails covered with nail polish for years. Well, sometimes I have one or two days off not wearing them but that's extremely rare. I ran out of nail polishes since I use them a lot and the other ones were drying. And looking at my nails being naked is just the weirdest feelings to me. So of course, buy new polishes is a necessity. Nail polish is basic needs. 

I pick a black one cause I love black nail polish (obviously) and the blue one cause it's just soooo pretty. Buying this stuff and try it for the first time made me think about writing again on my other blog about beauty to review product like this. Kinda miss being a beauty blogger, tho. 

Hair Ties

I live with my girl friends and we share a lot of things including hair ties. Us being us, we lost stuff all the time. No one ever knows where all the ties gone. Lol. So this is another basic needs that I need to buy. And these are really cheap. IDR 2,5k for two. Like what? 

Puff Puff

Being a smoker, cigarettes also become basic needs that I need to buy daily. We joke around about lacking of money, but still prioritize buying cigarettes. Cause you know, being able to smoke make life a lot more bearable. No matter what come to me, as long as I can still smoke, then I'll be fine. 

I've been spending too much time working on this entry. Mostly because of the internet connection that suddenly decided to act like a dumb bitch every time I try to work on something. But I'm having so much fun creating all of these. And I'm happy now. Yay! I am happy for real. I know, right? Hehehe. 

Anyway, I have a lot of things to do tomorrow but I still have so much energy. So maybe after this, I will make some drawings and read a bit then go to sleep. 

It is a good day, everyone. And I'm really grateful for everything that I have today. And hopefully this feeling last longer. So I can feel that I matter and worth living. I don't know. What I know is that happiness lays on simple everyday things. Glad that I get it now.

Until next time!